Is someone really getting on your nerves at work?

Exercise: Try the following steps for developing an empathic state with someone in your workplace that you have conflict with:

• Identify a typical interaction between you and the other person
• Allow yourself to mentally re-experience the interaction with that person
• Focus on the details of the interaction to make it as real as you can
• Where are you?
• Is it dark or light?
• Is it warm or cold?
• Where is the other person in relation to you?
• How does your body feel?
• What is the other person saying?
• What is the tone of voice being used?
• Now imagine that for a few moments that you are becoming the other person in this interaction
• You can even move across to where in the room the person would be standing or sitting
• As you take up the other’s position imagine that you have become their age, have their personality and move in their circles
• Really be in the other’s shoes
• Now that you are being the other person, answer these two questions: “What is going on in this relationship for me?” and “What will help me in this relationship?”
• Write down your answers

The combination of Conscious Perception and Empathic State development can open very useful ways of perceiving and responding to conflict in your workplace. If practiced regularly it will become part of your daily dealings with others where you can move from blame to responsibility and from defensiveness to collaboration.

Workplace conflict is sometimes inevitable, but it can become the platform for healthy human relationships and improved productivity.

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